Sunday in the Park with Peter
by spider-dude313
Summary: Bertram and Stewie team up to kill lois and Peter tries to get money so they can keep the house. a minimal spoiler from X3 Some language was edited to fit the T rating script written 1 of 3 parts done


Family Guy: Sunday in the Park with Peter

A/N:After A long Time I finally putting on a family guy fanfiction. I hope you like it. 

Narrator:There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition; and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is show we call Family Guy.

(Theme Song)

Lois:Peter take out the garbage Stewie just threw up.

Stewie: Dammit...women! Help me!

Peter:Fine (takes trash)

(Trash rips from the bottom and red soda spills all over Peter's pants)

Cleveland:Hey Peter I thought you stopped in 9th grade!

Peter: This is worser than the time I was at Laguna Beach

(Flashback)

(At the bonfire)

Morgan: Oh my god do not go in the bathrooms!... I already checked them out!

(Peter head is stuck in the toilet with his pants down and the portapotty door open)

Herbert:This must be my lucky day

(end flashback)

(Peter goes upstairs and gets changed)

Lois:Stewie stay here stewie mommy needs to go call the doctor.

(Lois walks into the kitchen)

Stewie: (grabs a walkie talkie from his pocket) Bertram I need you to to grab the slinky and climb up the window she won't see you she's in the kitchen.

(Bertram climbs up the side of the house and enters Stewies room)

Bertram:(into the walkie talkie)So how do we kill Lois...by C4, by choking her or we get Jorge Garcia to sit on her.

Stewie: Neither.

Bertram: Then how and why do you sound so close.

Stewie:(Grabs Bertram and pulls out a knife and holds it to his neck) Any last words before you meet the devil himself

Bertram:Do you really want to kill me I have plans to help kill Lois that involve watching her squirm.

Stewie: Fine but if doesn't work I kill you.

Bertram:Deal.

(With Peter)

Peter: (to Lois) Hey Lois i'm going to the drunken clam do we have any money.

Lois:We don't money I can barely afford Stewie's diapers. We may lose the house unless we come up with 10,000 dollars.

Peter: Aww... but its gay cowboy night!

Lois:Sorry Peter.

(That Night)

(Stewie dug a deep hole and jumps out)

Stewie:Bertram I like how you're thinking this will be unescapable and also look at my abs I look so sexy.

(With Peter who is lying in bed thinking about how to get money)

Peter: (thinking) What should I do. I can start a lemonade stand or sell my body to medical science...hey wait a minute am I actually thinking... this is weirder than the time I was on Star Trek

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. It's continuing mission...

Captain James Tiberius Kirk: ...to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations...

Captain Jonathan Archer: ... to boldly go where no man has gone before.

Riker: Captain on screen!

Peter: Don't go you bastards! One more Season! One more season!

(End flashback)

(Stewie is locked outside)

Stewie: Dammit somebody let me in.

(Brian watches as Stewie knocks and yells)

Stewie:Dog I will give you partial domination of the world!

Brian:What Part?

Stewie:Australia.

Brian: Forget it.

Stewie: I'll do anything!

Brian: Say "Stewie Griffin is gay"

Stewie:Never!

Brian:Fine...(walks slowly away from the door)

Stewie: Stewie Griffin is gay.

Brian:Ha I knew it! (walks away)

Stewie:Hey wait a minute where you going! I said it let me in! (starts raining) Dammit someone let me in!

(The next day)

Tom Tucker: Welcome to Action news at 5! I'm Tom Tucker.

Diane: And i'm Diane Simmons. We now take you to a highway chase pursuit with Ollie Williams...Ollie

Ollie:We Chasin' Somebody!

Tom:Do we know who it is

Ollie:Peter Griffin!

Tom:What did he do

Ollie:Yo momma! I quit!

Tom: uhh... in other news Pigs...are they plotting to rule the world...find out at 11pm.

(Turns off tv)

Lois: Oh my god Peter!

(Peter's cellphone rings)

Peter: Hello.

Lois: Peter what the hell are you doing!

Peter: uhh...ya I just robbed a bank.

Lois:Why, my father could give us some money! He's rich remember!

Peter: Aww... dammit!

(Peter loses control of the car and crashes into a ditch)

(At the hospital)

Peter:That was stupider than the time I joined the X-men.

(Flashback)

Wolverine: Jean knew I loved her and she loved me but I couldn't...

Peter: Wait, so your trying to tell us that you to almost did it but you chickened out! You pus! I would have done her in a minute!

Wolverine: Why the hell are you calling me a pus I mean do you have any super powers you know fine she's in the mountains I dare you to do her.

Peter: Fine I will.

(At the mountains)

Peter: Hey baby.

Jean: Hi

( 2 minutes later)

Jean: Lets do it again.

Peter: uhh...not right now...

Jean: What did you say!

Peter: Aww crap (Peter explodes into dust)

Lois: But now your safe I paid off the bail and all the money was returned to the bank.

(Back at home)

(Stewie finally wakes up)

Stewie: What happened? Why am I sleeping outside? At least i'm ok.

(Stewie gets hit in the head by a hammer)

Stewie:Bertram! Why!

Bertram:Why! I love Lois!

Narrator: "Up there, up there in the vastness of space, in the void that is sky, up there is an enemy known as isolation. It sits there in the stars waiting, waiting with the patience of eons, forever waiting...on the show called Family Guy." 


End file.
